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  • Kirsty Rutter

conversation with self

I often record voice messages to myself, and this was one of those from September, two years ago. These “Conversations with Self” help me to stay on track and remember what is important when I forget.

“My life is going in a direction which I am enjoying, because I'm choosing what to put my time into, and what will make me happy.

As I lay in my hammock in my garden, I can feel the breeze blowing across my body and the sun is shining on my face. I can see the leaves of the trees above me, my dogs laying at my feet, and the evidence of so much hard work before my eyes. It makes me feel good. Makes me realize and understand that I've worked hard for this, for all of it.

The steps you're taken lately, to get out of that old self and to become your true self, have been hard. You've had to stand up for things you’ve wanted, and had some conversations that were challenging. But every step of the way you’ve become more Kirsty, more the person that is hidden deep down inside you.

She's there. She's just covered up with the should do's, the responsibilities, the weights. The preconceived, misconceived, misunderstood ways of living. You don't need to live like that. You are enough, what you do is enough. It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. It really doesn't.

You need to choose the life you want. You need to choose where you put your energy. You need to choose the direction, or maybe not to take a direction. Maybe choosing just to stay in the moment. Not having to always be better, more acceptable, more liked.

Until the next yourself. Be yourself. Slow down. And enjoy. Stop and smell the roses. Stay a while in your hammock and enjoy the view. Because you know what? This is life and you need to live it, no matter where you are.”

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